If you are an active TikTok user, and your For You page is filled with more adult content and topics, you probably saw or heard the abbreviation CNC. You probably wonder what it means. CNC is short for consensual non-consent.
This might sound confusing, but in this context, CNC refers to the type of sexual roleplay where partners fully consent to the things they will do, but they pretend to be unwilling victims.
In short, CNC is an abbreviation that describes “rape play,” in which one person pretends to be molested, but they actually consent to everything.
CNC might be weird and even a disturbing concept, but it is rather popular in the BDSM community and among other communities that revolve around various fetishes and kinks. Slowly, this term and concept is becoming popular among “regular” people who don’t belong to any of these communities.
The rise in popularity of CNC among the general population can be seen on social media, such as TikTok, Instagram, and X (Twitter). Still, it seems that many people play with this term and concept without understanding it deeply enough.
What Does CNC Involve During Sex
CNC is more of an umbrella term, which means it can describe several ways in which people would pretend to be “molested.” For example, some people will participate in spanking or bondage, while others will play out their kidnapping fantasies.
Some couples even take it one step further and come up with elaborate storylines and fantasies. CNC can get a little rough and aggressive, but it’s not necessary.
However, all these individual situations have one thing in common: both partners consented and willingly participated in all activities.
Usually, one partner is the one who pretends to be resisting the sexual advances and acts done by the other partner. This partner that pretends to resist is more submissive, while the other partner is more dominant. It all comes down to the power play, which, for many people, is extremely alluring.
Of course, it is worth noting that CNC isn’t a normalized or sugarcoated abuse. In CNC, both partners should be equally willing and enthusiastic about it. One partner shouldn’t pressure another to do things they aren’t comfortable with.
They should also have safe words or code words and good communication so that CNC roleplay doesn’t go in the wrong direction.
Origins and Deeper Context of CNC – Why Some People Love it
Because of CNC’s role in power play, it makes no wonder that this concept originated in the BDSM community. Later on, even people who weren’t into BDSM started to take an interest in CNC. This was especially evident among women who read erotic novels that included CNC and similar fantasies.
At first glance, this might seem surprising. Why would so many women fantasize about being taken by force or participating in other non-consensual sexual acts? Well, many women (and men) feel sexually repressed, and they feel guilt about enjoying certain activities.
So, the fantasy of being overpowered and helpless while still participating in sexual activities reduces the guilt.
For example, many women fantasize about being kidnapped by some Hollywood heartthrob or another highly attractive man.
In this fantasy, they are still enjoying the physical intimacy with such a man, but since it was “against their will,” they aren’t responsible for their acts, nor do they feel guilty for doing “naughty” things.
Nowadays, people are more open about their kinks and fantasies, and that’s how CNC has become well-known. With social media and relative Internet anonymity, more and more people are talking about it.
Of course, not everyone has CNC fantasies, and that’s perfectly fine. Also, even people who talk about CNC aren’t necessarily into consensual non-consent. Such people mostly use CNC to describe “naughty” and sexual activities.
Finally, there are also people who use CNC in a joking manner. Jokes with sexual connotations are as old as time, and they remain popular even today.
How to Stay Safe While Playing CNC
As you can imagine, keeping things safe during CNC is super important. It’s all about playing pretend in a way that feels good for everyone involved. Before jumping into this kind of play, let’s talk about how to do it safely:
Talk It Out and Setting Limits
Before anything starts, everyone involved needs to have a serious chat. This is the time to talk about what you’re okay with and what’s off-limits. It’s like setting rules for the game so everyone knows what to expect and feels comfortable.
Use Code Words Instead of Safe Words
A code word or safe word is like a stop sign. They’re special words that anyone can say at any time to stop the action, no questions asked. It’s a way to make sure if someone feels not okay at any point, they can say the word and everything will pause.
While ‘safe words’ are the common term, some CNC enthusiasts prefer to use ‘code words’ or even ‘safe signals.’ These are especially useful if the role-play involves scenarios where saying ‘no’ or ‘stop’ are part of the play.
Code words should be completely unrelated to the scenario, like ‘pineapple’ or ‘red wagon,’ which unmistakably indicate that the session should stop.
Aftercare Post-CNC
After the CNC session, it’s important to engage in aftercare. This is the time you reconnect with your partner, provide comfort, and discuss the session. It helps you ground back into reality and ensures both of you are emotionally and physically okay.
Aftercare might include cuddling, talking, or other forms of care to help transition out of the role-play mindset.
This can help you understand each other better and make any future CNC play even more enjoyable.
The Importance of Trust in CNC
You gotta trust each other a lot to play with CNC because it’s pretty intense. This means taking the time to really get to know your partner and what makes them tick. The more you trust each other, the more fun and safe the play will be.
As you can imagine, in CNC, you’re letting someone take control in a way that looks like you’re not okay with it, but actually, you are. Trust is key because you need to feel safe that your partner will follow the rules and listen to the safe word if you use it.
9 Ideas for CNC Play
CNC play can take on many forms, each conditioned by the desires and boundaries defined by the participants.
Keep in mind all acts, roles, and scenarios should be thoroughly discussed and agreed upon by all participants ahead of time. This preparation helps guarantee that the experiences are enjoyable and free from real harm or distress.
Here are some inspirations to spark your imagination:
1. Role-Playing Scenarios
One of the popular draws to CNC is the chance to act out a fantasy. Maybe you’ve always been intrigued by the idea of a naughty librarian or a strict teacher. Role-playing these characters can heighten the CNC experience by bringing an extra layer of storyline and context to the encounter.
2. Kidnap Fantasy
Picture this: you and your partner outline a scenario where one is ‘kidnapped’ and ‘held captive’. It’s a plot that can thrill with its sense of urgency and surrender, but remember, it’s all make-believe.
The ‘captive’ has agreed to this pretend play, and the ‘kidnapper’ knows to respect boundaries and listen for the safe word.
3. Predetermined ‘Struggle’
Agreeing beforehand on how a playful ‘struggle’ might occur is a way to safely add physicality to CNC. This isn’t about using force but rather simulating resistance within the bounds of consent.
Both partners should understand their physical limits and the level of intensity that’s acceptable to ensure the experience remains within the realm of safe, consensual play.
4. Light Bondage Elements
Incorporating elements of bondage can enhance the feeling of controlled helplessness that can be central to CNC. Using something simple like a silk scarf or soft rope can be a starting point.
Even here, it’s important that both partners know how to use these safely and agree on how and when they can be used.
5. Planned ‘Ambush’
Another scenario could involve planning a ‘surprise’ or ‘ambush’ for one partner when they least expect it, adding an element of shock that many people find exciting in CNC play.
The key element is making sure that even the ‘surprise’ has been previously consented to and that there are established signals if the intensity needs to be adjusted.
6. Sensory Deprivation Play
Incorporating blindfolds or headphones can escalate the CNC experience by adding a sensory deprivation element. This heightens the other senses and can create a sense of anticipation and suspense, which can be very stimulating.
However, again, clear limits should be set to ensure comfort.
7. Simulated ‘Chase’ and ‘Capture’
For those who enjoy an adrenaline rush, simulating a chase where one partner is pursued before being ‘captured’ can be thrilling. This kind of play should be performed in a safe environment, where there’s plenty of space, and precautions are taken to prevent any physical harm.
8. Incorporate Costumes or Props
Using costumes and props can also add depth to the CNC fantasy, making the roles feel more authentic.
Whether it’s a specific outfit that aligns with your agreed scenario or objects that enhance the power dynamics (like mock handcuffs or a faux crown), such accessories should be used responsibly and consensually.
9. Explore New Settings
CNC doesn’t have to be confined to the bedroom. If privacy allows, different settings can add an element of novelty and make role-play feel more realistic. This could be a part of the house that’s not typically used for intimacy or even a safely secured outdoor location.
As always, comfort and consent are crucial, and outdoor activities should be approached with discretion and legality in mind.
When exploring these ideas, the underlying theme is that the action is consensual, and everyone involved can stop the play at any moment.
The thrill of CNC comes from the illusion of danger and the excitement of the unknown, within a framework where safety and consent are always the priority.
Examples of Use
Since CNC has a highly sexual meaning, you need to choose well when to use it. For example, using CNC isn’t appropriate in professional settings, with people you don’t know enough, your parents and family, minors, etc.
Basically, every situation in which sex talk isn’t appropriate is also a situation in which you shouldn’t use the CNC abbreviation.
On the other hand, if you are discussing your kinks with a (potential) partner or talking to your close friends, mentioning CNC can be appropriate. Still, make sure to stay safe, respectful, and polite. Here are some examples of how you can use CNC in a sentence:
- “Would you like to try CNC with me?”
- “Their sex life has become dull, so they resorted to trying CNC.”
- “We tried some CNC last night, it was fire!”
- “This erotic novel has some BDSM elements, including CNC”
- “What’s your safe word when you do CNC?”
Alternative Meanings
While consensual non-consent is the main slang meaning of CNC today, you should also know that there are some alternative meanings of this abbreviation. Sometimes, you might see a social media post or receive a message with CNC in it, but it won’t mean anything sexual.
To avoid confusion and potential embarrassment, you should know other meanings of CNC:
- Computer (or computerized) Numerical Control – a type of manufacturing process
- Command and Conquer
- Carrots and Cheese
Conclusion
CNC is short for consensual non-consent. Many people participate in CNC, and some of them openly talk about it. Of course, CNC is not for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine. In the end, no matter if you like CNC or not, you should stay safe and also respect other people’s boundaries.
Educate yourself on what makes CNC, how to practice it, and how to use it when talking to other people.
